Sometimes you feel real old, older than you are. Check the aches and pains, the hairline, the demands of life. Responsibilities, responsibilities. Worse things have happened to all of us; the circus wasn’t as good as you thought it would be, the movie stunk, etc., etc…
Punching the clock, punching the wall, hating your boss. You can’t go if you don’t know, and you can’t know if you don’t go. And everybody in the world has their own song in their heads. The best songs ever. Problem is figuring a way to get them out and present them to others.
You’ve got to know where the brakes are. Enjoy life at a realistic pace. You crazy youngsters, what with your nightlife and everything. And it’s important to trust other people while putting stock in yourself as well. Reevaluating your priorities, checking yourself daily.
Not everybody is a victim of circumstance; conversely, nobody should feel like a martyr all the time. Problem? It’s hard enough to communicate these days; some of us don’t even get the chance. Some others don’t know they have a chance.
When you travel frequently, you find a lot of images. And sometimes, you have to try and make the best of a bad situation: more often than not, we grin and bear it. Other times, you learn to enjoy some small facet of your predicament. Nothing too elaborate, just an attempt to adjust priorities. Revolution starts at home, preferably in the bathroom mirror.
Example? Winter always comes too soon. This year was the worst I can remember, except when I was five years old. Pushed open the front door, got lost in the snow.
I know some of you have deleted your Tumblrs (for whatever reason, like colleagues finding it or stalkers or just self-loathing in general) and I am wondering: if you delete, is there a way to download some version of it to your harddrive so you have a record (you know, for the memories)? Or do you just get rid of it all at once and be done with it?
For serious, pals.
ONCE YOU DELETE YOU NEVER GO BACK
Come to Summer of Megadeth’s Third Anniversary of the Delete Your Tumblr Meme this Sunday at Housing Works we’re going to have a reading in which Jay reads a book for the first time be there.
Of all the odd impulses I’ve ever indulged, walking from 25th street to 157th, because I had nothing to do and nowhere to be, was definitely among the most pleasant. Top 5 at least. Okay going to have some cheese and beer now.
Things I wish I could do: walk from 25th to 157th St b/c I have nothing to do. Then, after all that “actitivity,” drinking beer and eating cheese.
Haha, question: do you also wish you had been laid off last month? And that most of your time was spent being anxious because bills don’t actually disappear and hey, employment-finding is a difficult process? And do you wish that you had one nice day, casually blogged about it and then someone was a dick about it on the Internet? I mean, I know my life as an involuntarily underemployed person is so glamorous but, like, walking and buying beer and cheese at your local bodega are actually achievable goals even if you are among the hoi polloi.
I believe he was laid off many months ago, hasn’t found work since.
You’re in that first month, so doing things like “walking far uptown” seem great because they’re escapes from the terrifying recruiting monsters out there. 5-6 months in, where I’m at, you start to hunker down at home because it’s no longer amusing to prance around outdoors… you’d rather be chained to a desk for a paycheck than be a free bird.
I was walking home from my therapist’s office because it was a pleasant day. One day, Brian. Not every day. Not all days. You and he have literally no idea what my days have consisted of, so maybe, just maybe, it might behoove you to show the tiniest bit of humility re: your assumptions about the lives of people you don’t know.
Also: “prancing”? Good lord.
For the record, I took an outdoors walk today too. When I was initially unemployed, my forays included 4 hour bike rides to Alpine and back. Today was as nice a day as any to do that, except, like I said, that seemed like a good idea only during the initial weeks… down the line, I lost my taste for doing things like that, preferring to affix myself to the computer for 10 hours straight - and beyond - in an attempt at seeking recruiting penance. (That’s insane, of course, but it is how I feel.) I predict many, including you, go down that same path, and along those lines I’m supposing that you’re in the “long walks feel good” phase of it.
That in no way is passing judgment so I don’t know where polite humility was breached. If I’m correct, you are not morally defeated in any way. And if I’m wrong about the circumstances, it shouldn’t be an affront. Surely we live in a world where the term “prancing” is not an absolute pejorative, right? It’s something happy people do. And it’s a word that sometimes assholes use when they’re talking shit about nice people.
Along these lines, I think unemployment also tends to make people more sensitive to discussions about their productivity. Oh, I went outside today for an hour? That was an hour I could have spent calling headhunters. (That thought is insane, too, in the grand scheme of things.) You might not relate to that, but I know a shitload of people who do.
It has since become a prevalent fantasy among the overeducated that we can somehow escape being snobs through force of will — that a personal effort of broad-minded considerateness can obviate class gaps and conflicts. This seems no less patronizing, the pose that someone believes that they are never “too good” for anything else. It threatens to take a proper irritation at connoisseur windbaggery and broaden it into anti-criticality. This is an implicit problem with Consciousness III’s tolerant, laissez-faire attitude. It may be that the worst snobbery is the pretense of being beyond snobbery, of being too good for snobbery about art or food or music or anything else. The whole anti-snob attitude is driven less by a desire to withhold judgment than by a belief that one has the power to validate everyone else, and moreover, that it’s one’s duty to exercise this power continually. Social media institutionalizes this attitude of faux-tolerant “liking,” reinforcing the narcissism of benevolent approval.
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